a novel no one will read

getchoo uh huh

2012-01-01T02:05:00.000-08:00

I was going to put out the first single from Vampires today but I've since decided it's my "Smile." 2012 is an even year therefore starting today we get a new single depending when I wake up since it's 4 AM and I'm listening to Pinkerton.

2 Years ago today I started the 100 Demos Project. That weirds me out that it's been that long. Time for The Second Coming.

if you know what i'm singing about up here come on raise your hands

2011-11-28T17:41:00.000-08:00

Not sure if any other song on the planet means as much to me as this one...

it's like that

2011-11-19T00:46:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time there was something and then last Thanksgiving I wrote 30 demos and then in March they were lost because of a failed HD before they were done. It was called "Vampires" and it's about to become undead (please forgive the pun).

1.1.12.

you were not the same after that

2011-10-12T21:37:00.000-07:00

This could be the most transparent post I've written in a long time.

Last year I wrote, recorded and released over 100 songs on my own in my own way. Something that I'm not sure many have done and honestly, something I wasn't sure I could do. Over the course of that year, I was offered a record deal and turned it down, got violently ill and lost my voice for over a month, and then became antisocial due to anxiety until it got to a level that may have only previously been seen in Sly Stone.

Earlier this year I made a decision to move home. It was a terribly difficult decision because at the time I was clicking with the city I lived in and I was in a groove. It was the absolute right decision and I'm finally where I should be and with the people I needed to be with and while there has been a gap in my music production, there's a very definite reason for it. Or several actually...

Being a fan of so many prolific artists I never used to understand why artists take time off between records. What I'm starting to understand is that every time you record a new group of songs, it pulls something out of you and truly does shift the world around you in ways that are often difficult to understand and also difficult to grasp. When I started recording the 100 Demos, I was starving for validation that I could write decent music. When I originally posted the first 15 here on New Year's Eve '10 I didn't get much feedback and it frustrated me to the point that I became a wreck and lost faith in what I was doing.

Then, in April I posted the songs to Soundcloud because I had listened to a track by one of the artists I most admire that was posted out there. Thank you Orion. Thank you DRA...again. After that it all changed. I couldn't predict that people would actually care and it fueled the fire continually for months and months. Just knowing someone will listen is sometimes more important than them listening. I quit sending my music to my close friends and just started down this other path.

I guess the point is this. I started doing this on a quest for validation that was possibly extraneous because I listen to enough music that I can generally tell what is "good" and what isn't. Honestly though, where I've landed is that art is art and what I might think is not so good or is great changes based on circumstances in my life. There really is no "good" or "bad." There really is just did you create something or did you just talk about it.

I've drifted a bit...the point is that I haven't recorded as much this year because I have changed. My perception has changed, my location has changed and I'm around people who have been missing from my life for the last five years and I've just been taking that in and loving every minute of it because I've needed them more than I will ever admit (except this one time). Mostly the same way I needed to write all those songs. 2012 will be a big year. I promise. You will be able to buy vinyl directly from this site, facebook or from the Broken Pony site once I have a minute to launch it and I was talking to my brother tonight about planning some sessions.

So in closing, for those of you who have been there for the last year plus (or for all of those years), please know:

You are my light.

I can't thank you enough for what you have given me. I don't know if this post will even do my thoughts justice but I figured I would try. Thank you.

2011-09-12T00:44:00.000-07:00

New stuff coming. I'm behind schedule and may have to revise my plan...but there will be a lot more music in the next few weeks and we'll see where it lands. Ripped my voice up at karaoke earlier in the week. More to come...

the heart kills everything

2011-09-05T22:28:00.000-07:00

I wrote this about a month ago and decided to use some lyrics I created a while ago because they fit. Part of my space rock opera. More on this later when I write about that entire project. This either falls between Princess of the Traffic Lights and Calm Down or between Calm Down & Everything's Fucked. Final placement is still pending...

362 to go...

The Heart Kills Everything by m3d1um

the lights are out and i'm staring at the ceiling

2011-09-05T22:19:00.000-07:00

I wrote this a few months ago. I remember I was walking home late one night and I'd had the idea before when I'd been feeling pretty sick pretty consistently but then the whole thing kind of popped into my head later and came out the other night. The thing I like is that when I started this, it kind of started out sounding like my older jam Heartbreaker but shifted midstream when I was putting in the distorted guitar and I'm pretty happy with the end result. 363 to go...

Hospital Bed by m3d1um

what doesn't kill us only kills us eventually

2011-09-02T20:39:00.000-07:00

Compared to 2010, 2011 has been pretty quiet as far as my musical output. There are a lot of reasons for that that I don't want to or can't go into. Instead I've decided that I'll just record and release an average of one song per day for the next year. Obviously there are days I won't be able to record but that's why we have weekends. So, to get this going here's a new song:

7:23 by m3d1um

364 to go...This is from an album I conceptualized at the end of last year but really only started working on this year. More to come as I release more of it. Peace...

Tonight tonight.

2011-07-23T16:53:00.000-07:00

Extended break over... 12:00 AM CST. "I'm Not in Love With You" & possibly one other new demo are dropping. Game on.

...

2011-05-31T21:58:00.000-07:00

you made a big impression for a girl your size

2011-05-06T00:38:00.000-07:00

7 Days. It's not very long. I'll miss certain aspects of Seattle very very much but it's time. I'm returning to everyone and everything that I abruptly left 5 years ago and it feels pretty right. There is just so much love there that it is overwhelming and the next chapter is going to be massive. Thank you Seattle for helping me find myself. Thank you Seattle for allowing me to change. Thank you Seattle for pretty much helping me finally believe in myself. I'll always love you for that and if we meet again someday there will be tears on both sides.

we all come from the same december and in the end that's where we'll go

2011-01-01T00:59:00.000-08:00

The song above is the first song I listened to in 2011. It's fitting for many reasons and I'll spare the details because it could lead to a diatribe. I want to wish anyone who reads this the best for the new year. It's going to be a good one. The new music is progressing but at a much slower pace because a) I've been spending some time focusing on other things and b) I just want it to grow a bit more before I release it because I feel like these new songs are unlike anything I've done in the past. More on that soon enough and in a day or two I will probably do the first internet radio broadcast but I'm still working out the details. Look here & on FB for more info on that.

it's just around the corner

2010-12-26T01:21:00.000-08:00

Story time...back in the id 90's I was into typical music of the era: grunge etc and then around 1994, I was introduced to Prince. It's not like I hadn't heard Prince before but it's more like I'd never listened. So I started listening and for whatever reason, I instantly connected wit this music. I kind of understand it many years later but even now I'm intrigued by the whole "why" when it comes to the things we instantly become attached to. So, skip ahead to 1995 when I watched Graffiti Bridge for the first time. Like most people, I thought this movie was terrible when compared to Purple Rain. Bad acting, bad writing etc. The funny thing about Graffiti Bridge is that because of the movie, the music has never gotten its due. The soundtrack included songs by all of the artists in the movie where Purple Rain did not. I believe that had Prince focused on Graffiti Bridge as less of a soundtrack and more of a record that reflected the tone of the movie and paralleled the message of the movie, it could have been seen in a much different light. I mean, the fact that the whole movie is about an artist who stays true to himself and his art is a good message and combining it with the whole divine intervention thing could make a good movie unless you put Morris Day and Jerome Benton in co-starring roles. Anyway, I digress...

The story of how this affected me and the point of this post and the previous post is as follows:

When I initially watched Graffiti Bridge I was just learning to play guitar and I remember that after I watched that movie, I wrote "Angel" which was the first song I ever wrote on guitar. It was completely inspired by that movie and I was reminded of that this week and it just kind of fascinated me because it's something I'd forgotten about and it blows my mind that all of the art could have started from being inspired by that movie.

Secondly, "Still Would Stand All Time" is probably in my top 3 Prince songs ever and that's saying a lot. I could get into why I posted The Beautiful Ones earlier and followed it with this, but let's just say that sometimes we feel anger and hurt and jealousy and etc etc etc towards people we care about immensely and sometimes those feelings can stay for days and weeks and months and then one day we wake up and listen to Still Would Stand All Time and we realize that the one thing we want most in the world is for that person or those people to know that we've forgiven them and that we hope that they can forgive us when they are ready because life is too short to carry grudges and forgiveness and love bring peace and peace is what it's all about. That was kind of a rant but it was kind of necessary tonight.

Love can save us all.

baby baby baby listen to me

2010-12-25T12:54:00.000-08:00

yep.

turn up the radio

2010-12-24T23:18:00.000-08:00

Starting 1/1/2011 at midnight, I'll be launching an internet radio station mostly for my own amusement. With this, I'll be playing some of my music (released and not), my friends' music, and the music that influences me. This is something I've wanted to do for a while and I finally found some fairly reliable software to do it easily. So, more details to come in the next week but wanted to drop that update. There are some other things happening in 2011 and I'll slowly release more details as we move into the new year. Merry Xmas + Happy Holidays.

your love it covers me in a wave of fluorescent light

2010-12-21T18:52:00.000-08:00

This year has been a lot of things but most of all it's been exhausting. In a week in November, I did rough & short clip demos of 30 songs. Below is a list of those songs. The album will tentatively be called "Vampires" not because it's trendy but because at times this year has literally sucked the life out of me. I'm hoping to have the 1st single/b-side ready soon.

Anxiety
Bad
Beating Heart
Bedroom Window
Breakdown
Butterfly
Complete
Contagious
Control
Conversations
Crucifixion
Damaged
Dear World
Deliverance
Downtown Lights
Escape
Fluorescent
Glow
How It Feels
Just You
Mess
Neurosis
Probably
Recluse
Scared
Shine
Slow
Too Dark
Villain
Wake Up

Additionally, I've been slowly releasing some tracks from a double acoustic album I'm working on. More on that later but it's more or less going to be 26 songs with just voice and guitar. Most of them will be from the 100 demos project. That's all I've got right now but more coming soon.

it's getting too dark

2010-11-28T03:40:00.000-08:00

Very short update because it's 3:40 AM and I'm tired...

In addition to the 11 tracks mentioned above, 8 more have now had rough clips assembled. The titles are:

It's Bad
Too Dark
Wake Up
Mess
Downtown Lights
Glow
Damaged
Breakdown

One more day of putting these roughs together and then I pick the ones that I'll expand upon. Already strong contenders and several that need some tweaks to be in contention.

One other thing to mention with this group of songs. The plan as of right now is to write long and edit versions of these tracks. The extended versions will be less available than the short versions. Additionally, I want to release multi-track remix stems for the entire album once it's complete. We'll see how that materializes but that is the plan right now. It might change, we'll see.

nobody gonna stop this

2010-11-25T22:12:00.000-08:00

Been a while since the last post and so not sure where I should start. Let's start with "Revolving Doors." I decided as I was reworking songs from the past that the second half of the album needs to happen further down the road as opposed to right now. Not that I've lost interest but I have more pressing endeavors on the horizon. With that, the 100 Demos tracks are on ice for now as well. I'll get back to them but I am feeling this new project I'm working on. It's a big departure from what I've released to date. Influenced more by minneapolis & hip-hop than by rock it's going to be more of a dance/pop album. I started working on demos yesterday evening and to date here is a list of song titles of tracks in contention to be finished:

Anxiety
Beating Heart
Bedroom Window
Butterfly
Control
Conversations
Escape
Just You
Neurosis
Probably
Villain

These 11 have been started and I have 22 more beats to go through tonight as well so I might end up with a large pile of tunes to work on. Taking a new approach on this particular project in that instead of starting one song and finishing it, I'm getting down the hook and most of the instrumentation and then I'll go through the full list and pick the 10-15 I like best and finish those. Outside of that, I released to some a demo of a Harry Nilsson cover from an eventual EP and I have also been working on an EP of John Lennon covers but when those will see the light of day I'm unsure.

Today is Thanksgiving and I just want to say I'm thankful to everyone who has supported my art this year. You all keep me going and I have nothing but love and appreciation for you all. More news in the next few days...peace out.

you're stupid and young and you just don't fit in

2010-11-01T01:05:00.000-07:00

I had a lazy weekend for the most part but I did release 3 tracks: "Lampshade" from "Revolving Doors", "White Flag" from "Wristbreaker" and "Blackhole" from a new album I started working on that is currently unnamed. I also finished recording "Sadness" for "Revolving Doors." On the radar for this week are the following:

"Superficial", "Gone" & 1 or 2 others from the "Revolving Doors" list

2 or 3 from the "Wristbreaker" list

1 or 2 from this new collection of songs.

That's all for now. Posts of the released demos coming soon. Oh and I started working on a facebook page but it takes a long time to upload 100 songs. :)

i alone survive tonight

2010-10-27T02:20:00.000-07:00

Finished re-recording "Anymore" and started "Superficial" & "Sadness" for "Revolving Doors". Album is turning out strange yet all of the songs fit in this weird sort of way. 14 more to go in the pool and then it's looking like I'll release my favorite 10-12 all at once. More later.

throw up the white flag time to surrender

2010-10-25T01:32:00.000-07:00

This weekend was pretty productive. I recorded 4 tracks: "Man on the Corner" and "Lampshade" as part of the "Revolving Doors" project and then "White Flag" as a contender for "Wristbreaker" and then a very stripped down version of "Bethany" which is in contention for the acoustic project I mentioned in the last post. The next time I release something will probably be in a week or two. I think 1/10 will be released for the time being but I haven't settled on that number yet. It really depends on what I create and where it fits in to what I'm currently working on.

walking along the street chaos is all around

2010-10-22T01:57:00.001-07:00

Wow...this is the first time I've posted in a long time without a demo included in the post. Just a quick update on what's been going on this week. After finishing up the 100, I decided to take a look at the large number of songs I wrote in 1995-1996. Prior to learning how to play guitar I wrote about 10 albums worth of lyrics. Granted they were pretty much the kind of lyrics any 17 year old might write which means they are not the best lyrics ever. Either way, I went through these and I've started working on a new collection of songs that I'm tentatively calling "Revolving Doors" after the title of a poem I wrote around the same time. I picked that title mostly at random by opening my very old lyrics book to a random page and picking one. I think I've narrowed down the number of songs I'm looking at to 20. Included in that group are most of the songs from my first band's early garage demo and then probably 12 - 14 more tracks that I never finished at the time but all held some sort of significance to me back in the day. I've already recored "Angel" as part of the 100 and in addition I recorded 2 more tracks, "I Love You" and "Hang On", this week. Both of those were on the old demo although these versions are fairly different from the original arrangements. Other tracks in the queue are: "Man on the Corner", "Freejizm", "Sadness", "Superficial", "Stagnation", "Lampshade" and several others. More to come on that as I might record all 20 but probably will only release the 10-12 I like the best. Also brewing is an acoustic album of new songs similar in feel to "Stupid Times." Completely stripped down except for voice and guitar. Just been feeling that vibe lately so going to follow the impulse. Okay it's late. I'm out.

i shouldn't be the one who's forced to pay the cover charge for your mistakes

2010-10-18T02:27:00.000-07:00

Cover Charge by m3d1um

#113 - Cover Charge - 2004

So here's the story of Cover Charge. I have a book of lyrics (one of many) where I began numbering song lyrics I wrote in early 2004. In that book, Cover Charge is #002. Shortly after writing those lyrics, we wrote the song and recorded it on a cold evening probably after too much beer and a bad Bon Jovi cover. The only thing that has really changed since that first version is that the guitars have gotten louder and it's gotten faster. When I was playing with the people I used to play with, we would end every rehearsal with Cover Charge and it would usually turn into a 15 minute long freak-out full of distortion and feedback. I love that shit and so I decided when I started this 100 demos project that I would end it with Cover Charge because it just needs to happen like that and now I have. Let me just say, I'm pretty stoked that I released 100 original songs this year (in less than a year) and I'm even more excited about what's next because it's all about refining what I have and possibly adding more but I will start vaulting the majority of stuff I write for the time being. The reasoning behind that is that I want to leave some surprises for the future.

Lastly, I want to take a minute to thank the people who have kept me going and who have followed me through the year, etc. Much appreciation to anyone who has listened to a song or two. Thank you it has meant a lot.

i'm here to save the universe and put this creature in the ground

2010-10-17T18:02:00.000-07:00

Calm Down by m3d1um

#112 - Calm Down - 2010

So this started out as a "Self-Destructor, Part 1" song and then as I was recording it it did a 180 and I decided it made more sense as part of the space opera and so I wrote it to represent the battle between the main character and the creature that is destroying the universe and I could talk more about it but I won't but it'll make more sense once the whole thing is done. The vocoded vocals on the chorus represent the people watching this struggle. This one is central to the plot and between this and Princess of the Traffic Lights has gotten me reenergized about the whole project. I've talked to some other musicians about participating in it as well and so this project is going to be one of my best when we get there. I think it might be a while before it's truly done, but the wait will be worth it. Hope you like.

these monday mornings they might be proof that nothing ever really dies

2010-10-17T17:56:00.000-07:00

Beautiful Stars by m3d1um

#111 - Beautiful Stars - 2008

I wrote this at the end of 2008 as I was going through a lot of life changing stuff. A very weird & painful but also very good time and what I think is significant about this song is that the whole point is that our world is full of turmoil and then sometimes you just look up into the sky and see some stars and none of it matters. This is also a nod to the fact that I live downtown and it's a far cry from the open skies I experienced much of my life and I think stars are one of the things I miss the most because you just don't see them in the city. I like how it turned out. I hope you like it.

he used to dream of diamonds

2010-10-16T06:17:00.000-07:00

Ruby Broke His Heart by m3d1um

#110 - Ruby Broke His Heart - 2003

This song is pretty storied but mostly in a personal way so I'll tell some of it. It was written in 2003 during the Busdriver/Sunday Morning Relapse days with my cohort Gooch. We actually only wrote the hook at that time but it's a song that for whatever reason we talked about writing for years and it kept coming up and multiple gem references were made. This version is significant in that I recorded it this week for Gooch's birthday and in that I intentionally left it open for enhancements later. The verses are pretty bare right now and I imagine in a future version there will be a bridge and also more guitars added. That's what I'm hearing anyway, but for now it's this. I love that hook and I like the quiet-loud dynamic on this one. I hope you like it. Rough but alive.

i'm scared to lace my tennis shoes

2010-10-13T02:19:00.000-07:00

Stomach Flu by m3d1um

#109 - Stomach Flu - 2004

Speaking of messy Wristbreaker tracks...this is the messiest of them to date but that's for two reasons...I incorrectly put vocals on it before I put in the bass line and the guitar part is a bit disjointed. Also, it needs a tighter mix because right now there's so much going on all the time it's hard to keep up. On a positive note, I really like the hook and the guitar solo wails. Love the fuzz + synth combo. Last note on this one is that I went through all of my notebooks this weekend and this one was hidden in the trenches of the massive writing year that was 2004 and so it's completely chance that it made it out into the world. Hope you like it. It'll be cleaned up soon but for now enjoy the awesome mess.

he's the saddest boy oh he's the saddest boy

2010-10-13T02:11:00.000-07:00

The Saddest Boy by m3d1um

#108 - The Saddest Boy - 2010

If The Coolest Girl (#007) had a cousin or a lost brother it would be this. As I was remixing that song in May, I was like...there should be a sequel that is completely different but sort of the same. There's almost this weird masculine - feminine thing going on with how the songs turned out. One is just out of control and aggressive non-stop and slightly grating while the other starts off gentle and bursts into aggressive guitars when you don't expect it. I'll stop with that analogy now, but it works for me and I see some connection. Sloppy guitar driven Wristbreaker-ness is what this is. Pretty rough but that whole album is pretty rough. I'm either one or two tracks away from finishing it too which is pretty awesome. I could make it longer but it's mostly going to be thirty to thirty-five minutes because it shouldn't be long. It's a mess and I love it and it thrashes better than I thought it would. Not exactly super commercial but again, I never intended it to be commercial at all. I'm just rambling now, I hope you like this. I love the burst into the chorus and my solo on this one. Enjoy and peace out!

girl are you the princess of these traffic lights

2010-10-13T02:03:00.000-07:00

Princess of the Traffic Lights by m3d1um

#107 - Princess of the Traffic Lights - 2004

As I have probably mentioned previously, in 2001, I started working on a space opera. I've released a few tracks from that over the last 10 months. Princess of the Traffic Lights initially didn't come to me as part of that. It's now part of that as you'll notice the lyrics tend to reference a post-apocalyptic war torn times where the humans are being wiped out at an entirely rapid pace. All I can tell you right now is that it's from Act II. The main character is searching for this prophet in the streets of an alien planet as he believes she's the key to saving the human race and while he searches the people around him are being wiped out.

Aside from that, the song was actually written about someone who left and came back and left and came back every few months. She'd disappear and be gone and then a few months later be back. Always struggling and had it pretty rough and this song was very much conceived around her and that life. I hope you like it. It's definitely geared to the opera in its current state but I'm pretty happy with it. Hope you dig.

this dark hallucination it showers over me like rain

2010-10-10T23:13:00.000-07:00

Everything's Fucked by m3d1um

#106 - Everything's Fucked - 2008

This was co-written by my man Clay when we were playing together in 2008. We used to play it regularly but the lyrics weren't ever finished. In 2008 I had incredibly bad writer's block and so many of the songs from that year were fragments that I've since been able to complete. I'm really excited how this one turned out as it's just a strange song when I listen to it and I dig that a lot. Parts of it are almost gospel-ish while it's bluesy and chaotic at the same time. Going on the same record as "Waiting for the Sunrise" and might actually end up as the b-side if I do this singles thing I've been debating. More on that later but I've got 7 songs left and I foresee the demos project probably coming to a conclusion this week. After it's done I'll start focusing on the individual songs to get some things cleaned up and structured for a real recording sessions/release. Enjoy.

the good and the bad have become so elastic

2010-10-09T21:52:00.000-07:00

Tear Here by m3d1um

#105 - Tear Here - 2003

I remember writing this back in 2003. It came about because I saw "tear here" on a tag and I was like...hmmm good heart song. So I'm happy with how this turned out. I used the "Self-Destructor" method for this one and the long verses and soft chorus are doing it for me. Not sure where this will land as "Self-Destructor, Part I" is looking pretty full. I hope you like it. Only 8 more songs until I take a break from releasing stuff. Good things will be coming though, just not releasing songs at the pace I have been. I'm actually a bit worn out from releasing so much even though I love it.

happiness is oh so oh so hard to find

2010-10-09T21:47:00.000-07:00

Stupid Times by m3d1um

#104 - Stupid Times - 2010

Based on the last few weeks, I decided today that I needed to write something that reflects my battle with this stupid darkness. I found this song tucked away in one of my notebooks when I was going through them today and decided I should rock out an acoustic track. I'm happy with it. It's where I want things to go. I really am tired of darkness all the time and I am now on a mission to figure out how to shift that so that I only see the light. I know I can get there. I've been there before. Only a matter of time. Hope you like this little experiment.

it's been a pretty fucked up year

2010-10-09T21:33:00.000-07:00

A Song You'll Never Hear by m3d1um

#103 - A Song You'll Never Hear - 2010

So um...it's been a pretty fucked up year? Until I started releasing lots and lots of songs, I had a lot of difficulty separating my friends from the music. Meaning, I thought getting validation from them for the music actually mattered. What I've learned is that if the music is created with all of your heart, people will come towards the music and support you and keeping the people you care about at least partially isolated from the art is a very good idea. It's strange when you create so much. Your songs become like your children and you want everyone to love them as much as you do even though it's not really possible. This one is about that and it's also pretty harsh in places and I will probably change quite a few of the lyrics on the next rev because it is actually so biting that I have some problems listening to it. I don't know yet. I hope you get it and like it and all that. It's going on The Gun Show and might end the album. We'll see.

love it doesn't exist...there's no destiny

2010-10-09T21:26:00.000-07:00

Destiny Waltz by m3d1um

#102 - Destiny Waltz - 2006

Right after I moved to Seattle I wrote a few songs and then things got kind of dark for a while. During most of 2007, nothing was created. This was one of those final few songs and I didn't write much of it back then but I kept this stripped down and I really like how it turned out. Pretty dark which feeds into my mindset at the time I wrote it and actually the last few weeks. The weather in Seattle has the effect of knocking the chemicals in my brain completely out of whack come October. It's not a pleasant thing but it's a lot easier to handle when you realize that's what's going on. Well, anyway, enough over-sharing. I hope you like the gloomy track in front of you. Honestly, the more I hear this one the more I like it.

i'm about to come unglued

2010-10-09T21:22:00.000-07:00

Off Aurora by m3d1um

#101 - Off Aurora - 2009

This is about my rehearsal space. I came up with this one day while practicing up there and the real deal behind it is my rehearsal space is behind Rick's Auto and just in a strange part of town. The other aspect of this and probably some of the inspiration is that I heard once that Kurt Cobain used to shoot up in the hotels "off aurora." Not happy places. I'm sure many of them rent by the hour. Anyway, I hope you like it. Definitely belongs with the other "Boundaries" tracks.

you got a body so hot you melt my crayons

2010-10-05T23:56:00.000-07:00

Nosebleed by m3d1um

#100 - Nosebleed - 2009

Nosebleed was a song of myth from the Blistering Hearts days. I joked about it all the time except it wasn't truly mythological since it's sitting here before you. This is kind of "El Scorcho" kind of "Midnite Vultures" IMO but for the most part I dig the song. Got some tweaks to do but I do love the groove and like my a lot of my guitar on it. Supposed to be slightly crazy and I think I accomplished that. I hope you like it.

PS - What's coming next is going to be good...13 more songs and then a few new projects that I'm excited about. More coming soon.

our hearts turn into love once we are gone

2010-10-05T23:48:00.000-07:00

I'm Pretty Sure We're Dying by m3d1um

#099 - I'm Pretty Sure We're Dying - 2008

I wrote this in 2008 and it stems from the fact that I'm a bit of a hypochondriac although I've never really shared that until this post. I'm always worried that I'm really sick if I see any kind of small sign or anything like that. Then, I usually make it worse by looking up symptoms online. What I like about this is that it's got that sadness but then also has the chorus specifying that once we're gone our memories carry on thru our love. Okay that sounded kind of cheesy once I reread it, but I like some of the lyrics in this one and I like my synth-y guitar solo. Oh and I used some feedback on this from a BH rehearsal in 2008 or 2009. I hope you like.

now they want to slaughter their golden calf

2010-10-05T23:43:00.001-07:00

Hate Them All by m3d1um

#098 - Hate Them All - 2010

The weekend I recorded this and "Double Tall" must have been pretty dark in retrospect. This one is for every time you've ever wanted to just tell someone to fuck off and walk away. Not much more to say other than that. We've all been there and we've all felt attacked. I have a list of things this could be about but I don't need to get into it. Going to be on "Wristbreaker." Really like my guitar on this one. Hope you dig.

lately i've been living broken hearted

2010-10-05T23:33:00.000-07:00

Double Tall by m3d1um

#097 - Double Tall - 2009

So this one...kind of dark but sums up how I want "The Gun Show" to sound. Raw energy, somewhat angry singing with screaming on top of it and ferocious guitars. It's like an Old 97's kind of sound but more grit. As far as the concept on this, when I quit drinking in 2008 there would be various times during that first year when I would get incredibly moody and dark. This song is about the perception that many people have that if someone quits something then they start the world is going to end. It's just interesting to me. Not sure why but I wrote this about that feeling and I think I captured it even though it's pretty intense. I hope you like it. It's definitely an in the right mood kind of song. Oh and funny note..."finish what I started" line actually refers to the album lol.

mogwais they multiply but only when you get em wet

2010-10-05T23:29:00.000-07:00

Her by m3d1um

#096 - Her - 2004

So I wrote this hook in 2004 and knew how I wanted it to sound but never got to laying it down. It's about probably like 4 women all pieced together and more about my issues with insecurity (not to get too personal). The second verse of this one is one of my favorite verses I've ever written mainly because I bashed vampires, made a gremlins reference and then a Prince reference all in a few lines. I like how this one turned out oh and I like the bridge w/harmonica. Hope you enjoy.

when it comes to you it's just too hard to heal

2010-10-05T23:21:00.000-07:00

Heal by m3d1um

#095 - Heal - 2010

This song is very special to me. It was inspired by someone who has been really good to me this year when I definitely needed it. The story is that the week I broke down after two months of not making music and wrote "Hey, Angel..." she listened to it, made some very positive comments and then said I need to release an album called "Heal" that relates back to a lot of what I've gone through the last few years. Well, I held that idea in my mind for a long time and knew that when I wrote a song called "Heal" it was going to be something important. One night a few weeks ago it just kind of came to me and I recorded it and I've gotta say, I love this one. Partially based on the story above and partially based on how good it felt to finally see Pavement reunite and play a show. I left the lyrics to this somewhat obscure as a nod to SM. Hope you like it.

hey girl are you listening cuz I know you've been missing it

2010-10-05T23:14:00.000-07:00

Humble by m3d1um

#094 - Humble - 2002

Humble was written around 2002 right around the same time I wrote The Coolest Girl. It took me forever to actually record it mainly because it was one of those songs that I really liked but wasn't sure what it should be. This recording just kind of made itself and I'm very glad I put the moog part into this. For the record, that's a nod to Weezer (go listen to Buddy Holly) because at the time I wrote this, Weezer was at the top of the list of bands that inspired me. This is actually one of my favorites right now and I hope you enjoy.

you're so confusing yeah you rattle my strings

2010-09-30T20:05:00.000-07:00

Good For You by m3d1um

#093 - Good For You - 2010

Written out of the blue but kind of based off of a song called "Charm" that I started in early 2010. This one is probably going to end up on a new album of songs from the Blistering Hearts era combined with some other new songs and I haven't quite finished the concept yet but I know where it's heading. This also contains some nice sarcasm which I like. I hope you like it.

the rest roll in limosines

2010-09-25T23:30:00.000-07:00

Magazine by m3d1um

#092 - Magazine - 2010

This song gets my distinction of my second least favorite demo of the year. Not because I truly dislike it, but more because it just didn't turn out how I wanted it to. Lots of "fixes" and that will be evident the next time I work on it. That's the funny thing about releasing so much stuff. Sometimes you just run into songs that you think sound how you envisioned them but then a few days later you say..."wha?" All good though. Hope you like it more than me. :)

you know you left me screaming

2010-09-25T23:21:00.000-07:00

Open Wounds by m3d1um

#091 - Open Wounds - 2000

I wrote this a long time ago. It was actually part of a Radiohead-ish concept I was working on and it morphed over a short period of time into a heavy song because it just made more sense that way. THis recording sounds very Nirvana and that's okay by me becuase...um...I love Nirvana and I intentionally have been recording Wristbreaker to sound slightly Nirvana-esque. The guitar on this is chaotic and I love that but I also love the vocals. I hope you like.

maybe i should just write a novel...a novel that no one will read

2010-09-12T00:31:00.000-07:00

Motion Picture by m3d1um

#090 - Motion Picture - 2005

This song means a lot to me. Not only because of who I wrote it for, who I wrote it with and when we wrote it but also because for a really long time, it was my favorite song that I'd written. It was written on a December night and we literally wrote it and recored it in about an hour. It just kind of happened and I sent it to my friends that night because I was so proud of it and forever, it was just this symbol that I could write songs that caught people's attention. The number of times I've sent people the older Motion Picture demos is many. I guess the reason it was #090 on the list is because I was tired of playing by the time I started this in 2009. In case you didn't catch it, I named this blog after a line in the song. I hope you like this version. It's pretty minimal but I think that works. Important to note now that I have hit 90 songs. Once I hit 113 I will not be releasing things as rapidly. The reason it's 113 is because I covered 13 songs in the 100 and I want to make sure I release 100 original songs this year. So...the countdown has begun...23 songs left.

can you see that satellite dancing around the earth

2010-09-12T00:24:00.000-07:00

Satellite by m3d1um

#089 - Satellite - 2010

I initially had an idea for a song called Satellite in like 2008 but never wrote it. It resurfaced when I started working on this yesterday. I would describe this track as kind of the sequel to "You Are My Light" only because I wrote it with that song in mind and it has some similar ethereal elements and references that song in the third verse (sort of). I like that I used a ringshifter for the wobbly guitar underneath the jangling guitar. It's a sad tune but I love the textures on this one and the minimal guitar. Also written in open c BTW. I hope you like it.

i totally forgot that nothing really rhymes with oranges

2010-09-12T00:09:00.000-07:00

English Lessons (Circa 1993) by m3d1um

#088 - English Lessons (Circa 1993) - 2010

Yeah so...I saw Pavement last weekend and so I started tuning my guitar in different tunings and this was the result of open C. Also, the lyrics are a result of a comment on my friend and fellow musician John Keck's FB wall where someone mentioned he should write a song with word "orange" because you can't rhyme it unless...you use the tricks you learned from Lil Wayne and rhyme it with itself. So, I kind of built the song around it and then because I mentioned haiku in the last verse I ended the song with a haiku cuz I'm totally witty like that (or something). The synth at the end is something I'm really happy with as are the wailing guitars and the somewhat screaming vocals on the chorus.

this place has been killing me

2010-09-11T23:59:00.000-07:00

This Place by m3d1um

#087 - This Place - 2002

In 2002, I started working on a space opera that I've probably mentioned before and this was one of the two original songs that I wrote for it. This is the track that is the main character talking about how he's stuck in a small town and feels trapped. It's kind of his longing to get out. I added the breakdown at the end to demonstrate the duality of the personality but it's hard to actually explain without the full story being in place so more on it later when I do the space opera post once I've finalized the story. This was hard to record because I used a strange tuning and lots of dissonant chords. More takes on this than any other song I've recorded. Hope you like it even though it falls outside the standard rockin' jam.

the only thing that's been keeping us apart is the wall you built on the boundaries of your heart

2010-09-11T23:53:00.000-07:00

Boundaries by m3d1um

#086 - Boundaries - 2009

I wrote this late last year when I conceptualized the album of the same name. I really like the lyrics on the chorus. The recording actually kind of ended up sounding a little like a Tupelo song to me because of the low-high vocals on the chorus. Total slow drag on that album and looking forward to releasing more of those tunes once I get them recorded. My goal is to only put 8 songs on that record because I think albums should be deemed an album based on total length not on number of songs. Hope you like it.

mama get the bottle

2010-09-11T23:49:00.000-07:00

Alcoholic by m3d1um

#085 - Alcoholic - 2002

So a long time ago, I scrawled the line "mama get the bottle your little boy's an alcoholic" in my first primary "lyrics journal." Lots of years passed and it would come back around every now and then but I never recorded it until last weekend when I finally cranked this out. I like the tune and I like the guitar solo. It's another "Wristbreaker" jam and that album is shaping up to be nice. I hope you like it, it's not super dark but I guess it kind of is...

so you can stab me in the heart right before you blow my mind

2010-09-07T21:17:00.000-07:00

Waiting for the Sunrise by m3d1um

#084 - Waiting for the Sunrise - 2008

Alt-country space blues. Alt-country space blues. Alt-country space blues. Written w/ C.D. in 2008 and reworked over the weekend into alt-country space blues. One of the four original "Blistering Hearts" songs written in a penthouse and culled from a crudely recorded demo. One of my favorite jams and I threw some guitar noise on it to give it a more true aesthetic. We used to create walls of feedback when we rehearsed and at times it got kind of epic. This recording has the distinction of containing what is currently known as my favorite guitar solo on tape. I love it.

these dreams were made to defeat me

2010-09-05T11:07:00.000-07:00

Xmas Lights by m3d1um

#083 - Xmas Lights - 2008

Xmas Lights was this idea I had in 2008 and it was originally the title of Sleep It Off. I scrapped that plan when I wrote the chorus that would become Sleep it Off but revisited this the other day and wrote a song that ultimately fits on Self-Destructor. This mix is kind of soft but check it out. I like the bouncing lead guitar. On all Self-Destructor songs, I only use acoustic guitars. That's the one rule. I also like the bridge because it's so "delicate".

living underground like the rats crawling in the dark

2010-09-04T19:58:00.000-07:00

Alone by m3d1um

#082 - Alone - 2010

When I initially came up with the concept behind this song it was going to be the title track to a soundtrack to a movie that I might make. Basically a concert movie/art film called "Alone" that borders on silent movie except for live musical performances intertwined. Like two extremes: silence->music->silence. Still will probably do it but this song is now also destined for the "Boundaries" album because it has this whole "slow-drag" feel to it and the "Boundaries" album was inspired by Neil Young/R.E.M (NAIHF)/Jay Farrar. The only other songs I've posted in contention for that record are: How Many Times? and Maybe. More should be coming soon though because I've been in that place lately. We'll see. I'm hell bent on writing more of "Wristbreaker" at the moment. Another notable thing about this track is that I played banjo on it and that's the first time I have done that.

upside down start over again

2010-09-03T02:35:00.000-07:00

Not Alien by m3d1um

#081 - Not Alien - 2010

This is basically about cycles and getting stuck in cycles that repeat over and over and over and over and over and recognizing that feeling. It's destined for "Wristbreaker" and overall I like how it turned out. It needs a few tweaks but overall that chorus gets stuck in my head so I think it's good. Not much else to say on this oh except one of the lines in the chorus just makes me smile every time I hear it. I hope you like it.

blood stains on my t-shirt bleed until you change your mind

2010-08-30T00:26:00.000-07:00

Blood Stains by m3d1um

#080 - Blood Stains - 2010

This is another "Wristbreaker" track and I will go on record as saying these are my favorite tracks to record lately because I like my loud guitars. This was inspired by blood stains on a t-shirt. Sometimes I'm easily inspired especially when loud guitars are involved. I hope you like the gritty sloppiness! The whole point is that these songs are rough and fast and more abrasive. Although, this is far more catchy than it should be. I hope it gets stuck inside your head and that's a good thing.

hospital bed with a sunny lakeside view

2010-08-30T00:19:00.000-07:00

Terrified by m3d1um

#079 - Terrified - 2008

This song was started in 2008 and used to be another song called "Beautiful Stars" but I was never happy with the lyrics so towards the end of '08 or maybe in '09, I changed direction. I could tell you what this song is about but all I really want to say is that it's not about a person. If you know me well then I suppose it's not that hard to figure it out. Intended as one of the tracks for "Heal." I hope you dig it as it's kind of sad and has piano playing and slightly reminds me of something off of "Love Is Hell" but I'm okay with that.

broken bottles trace the edges of your heart

2010-08-30T00:14:00.000-07:00

Sleepwalkers by m3d1um

#078 - Sleepwalkers - 2010

I came up with this song idea when I was working on the rest of the "Self-Destructor" songs. It just took me little while o get to it. I like the whole vibe and it's really about being zoned out on anti-depressants and how so many people around us are kind of like zombies. Actually, forget what I just wrote before it's totally just about zombies because that's kinda epic. I hope you like it.

i don't know but it won't be you

2010-08-24T00:25:00.000-07:00

Heartbreaker by m3d1um

#077 - Heartbreaker - 2010

This song is special to me. I wrote the rhythm part over a year ago but I sat on it because I really like the progressions. I named it "Heartbreaker" for two reasons:

It reminds me of the album of the same name by Ryan Adams.
It makes me inexplicably sad whenever I play the chords and the words in the chorus are, well, really close to my heart and honest.

Anyway, I hope you like it. I'd talk more about it but I just can't really. It means a lot to me that I finished this one. It's been in my head for months and it was time to let it out and let it go.

I forgot one thing...I generally put harmonies on my vocals but I intentionally left them out of this one because it just needed to be one voice...

shootin' up with needles shining in the sky

2010-08-24T00:21:00.000-07:00

All the Girls by m3d1um

#076 - All the Girls - 2010

Yesterday I tuned my guitar into an open tuning to record a completely different older song and I was messing around and I started playing the rhythm part for this and then the hook jumped into my head and then a few hours later I had written this. It's in line with the "Heal" album and has a little Jesus & Mary Chain thanks to the fuzzed out muff guitar. I really like the hook and it's totally not about drugs but that's all I'm going to say on that. Hope you dig it.

my heart is still beating but it won't beat for long

2010-08-24T00:14:00.000-07:00

Kiss Me...I'm Bleeding by m3d1um

#075 - Kiss Me...I'm Bleeding - 2004

So in early July I took a trip to Las Vegas after I'd been working a ton and when I got home I was exhausted and I got really really sick. It lasted for a month and a half and when I was finally able to record this last weekend, I had to retrain myself to sing because my lungs were so weak. I wrote this in 2004 and revised the lyrics this weekend to make it make my vibe. It turned out better than I ever thought this song would turn out especially the guitar solo. Have I mentioned I love my strat? Serious guitar crush + it's white...Hope you like the jam.

i am the shark

2010-08-04T22:58:00.000-07:00

I am the Shark by m3d1um

#074 - I am the Shark - 2008

Coincidentally it's shark week. I didn't plan that. This is from "The Life & Times of Shawn Mathes" album which I started working on in 2008 as a tribute to one of my best friends. Vocals by Shawn Mathes. Co-produced by Stefan Miller. This is a totally experimental project and was originally branded under the band name "Kung-Fu Classes For Women." Please enjoy.

you'll never ever be my peer

2010-07-21T01:27:00.000-07:00

Peer by m3d1um

#073 - Peer - 2010

As I mentioned previously, I'm working on "Wristbreaker" which is your favorite album ever. I mean, how could it not be? This is one of my favorite jamz I've ever written due to the fact that it includes gasoline, trampoline & monkey references, combined surfing and anarchy references, a declaration to unicorns, a wizard of Oz reference and possibly one of my favorite hooks. The true meaning(s) behind this song are many and I will not get into it but let's just say that someone said something unkind once and it stuck in my head so I had to purge it. Random thought: I hope someday someone writes fan fiction about my band...that would be incredibly epic. Oh, this song has lots of guitars and I had to cut some out because the mix was muddy. I hope you like it. I'm now caught up.

if there's no easter bunny then that joke wasn't funny to me

2010-07-21T01:17:00.000-07:00

The Slacker Song by m3d1um

#072 - The Slacker Song - 2010

So I wrote this a few weeks ago while I was thinking about Pavement & listening to lots (or some) Weezer. I realized after the fact that it's almost kind of Blue Album sounding which I like. I dig the vibe of it and it's different from a lot of the jamz in that it's kind of happy. I know that sounds bad but the reality is I write a lot of sad sounding songs due to where I used to pull from. I'm changing that a bit or at least trying and this is an example of one of those songs as is "Oh Fuck...We Got Cats & Blue Rainbows Tattooed on our Backs Because We Were Really Fucking Hammered." or "Blue Rainbows, Pt. 2" for short which has never been or never will be released and has not even been written. Now that I've thoroughly confused you, please enjoy El Slacker Song. I'm actually almost caught up thanks to my terrible illness so I might post about one of the albums tomorrow.

i've got a broken wrist...

2010-07-21T00:32:00.000-07:00

Broken Wrist by m3d1um

#071 - Broken Wrist - 2010

In January I was working a ton and exhausted and noticed early in the year or late in 2009 (I can't remember) that there was something going on with my wrist. It was incredibly frightening because when you google health problems you always get led to cancer. So, I was exhausted, couldn't play guitar because it hurt very badly and I thought I had cancer. Additionally, I was starting to have problems with other areas of my life and the days were rough. If you fast forward to a month or so ago, I was thinking about this time and it amazed me how messy I was. This inspired me to start working an album that was intentionally sloppy/heavy/chaotic basically mimicking how I felt from December - March (up until I wrote Hey, Angel... which was the turning point). So, "Wristbreaker" which is named as an homage to one of the best records ever made may or may not be released in the near future. So far two tracks are done and I really like it although I've shamed myself a bit as I had originally intended every song to be as lyrically incoherent as "tourette's" by Nirvana and I wussed out (similar to the infamous remixing of In Utero to be more radio friendly). So yeah, "Broken Wrist" is short, heavy and chaotic and I really adore the songs coming from these sessions because they are just so raw and every time I record one I just think about how awesome it will be to play live because they are so fast and chaotic. Anyway, longer post. Hope you like.

i need her to cut me deeper so i can start to feel again

2010-07-21T00:24:00.000-07:00

Emotional Masochism by m3d1um

#070 - Emotional Masochism - 2004

So in 2003-2004 I conceptualized this album of songs about the fact that, at the time, I had a tendency to throw myself into volatile relationships with the complete intention of getting hurt in order to push myself into a certain emotional state/mindset in order to drive my creativity. Is that a healthy way to approach life? um no. Did I do it anyway? yes because I had some tendencies in my 20s to be slightly irresponsible in regards to my own well being. So, long story short I came up with the name for the album long before I wrote the title track but the hook is actually one that I liked enough to finish the full song. More on the whole album a little later. There is a 99% chance it's going to come out first next year and thus, I will be talking about it a lot in the coming months. I hope you dig this. To me, it kind of feels New Adventures in Hi-fi at times which I didn't intend but works for me.

i use you like i used them all

2010-07-18T02:14:00.000-07:00

So I've been sick/busy with work/traveling and so my song output has been limited. More coming soon. For now please ponder the words to this song and see if you can understand the brilliance of this man (because many don't get it and even the ones who do miss most of it).

Dedicated to only a few...

oh fuck we're up all night again

2010-07-04T16:00:00.000-07:00

Blue Rainbows by m3d1um

#069 - Blue Rainbows aka Oh Fuck...We've Got Cats! - 2010

I like this song so much I named it twice. This was written for one of my friends because she a) randomly said "Oh Fuck...We've Got Cats" one night and b) because she helped me through some really painful stuff earlier in the year when I needed it and my way of thanking people generally involves creating something for them. It's really just how I function and I see it as no big deal. Anyway, because of how this song actually turned out (it started off as a joke), I'm actually pretty pleased with it. Also, it was heavily influenced by Rick Springfield. I hope you like it because it's kind of got this whole metal-ish epic punk rock thing going. Oh and I actually worked on this overnight the night I recorded it which is kind of funny considering the hook.

every single morning I wake and pray for peace

2010-07-04T15:53:00.000-07:00

The Garden by m3d1um

#068 - The Garden - 2005

I wrote this in 2005. It's part of "The Reason" album. This is a new recording and I like the dark slant on it. That project is still ongoing and might be done at some point because I've kind of found a new liking for those tunes. We'll see how it progresses. I remember a lot about writing this because it kind of started out as similar song about painkillers and then it morphed into this whole spiritual thing. The first verse structure is different from the others because (I think) I started it at one point and finished it later. It works though. I hope you enjoy it.

fucked up by the chaos in the city streets below

2010-07-04T15:47:00.000-07:00

Grenade by m3d1um

#067 - Grenade - 2005

This song is pretty much a combination of 2 things: 1) a tune I wrote in 2008 that used to be known as "Holocaust" when The Blistering Hearts rocked it out. 2) Lyrics/Hook that I wrote in 2005. I usually give songs the date that I first conceptualized them. Anyway, I like the guitars on this sort of but when I rerecord it there's going to be an overhaul because I actually feel like here are lots of things about this one that I don't really like that much. On that happy note, I hope you DO actually like it! Going to keep blogging this afternoon until I get caught up.

you're not my everything

2010-07-04T15:36:00.000-07:00

We're Not Unique by m3d1um

#066 - We're Not Unique - 2010

So sometimes I pull songs out of nowhere. This was one of those. I was messing around and I just wrote this in like and hour. Listening to it again, I actually really like it and it's probably going to end up more flushed out when I do the next rev. Totally fits with the whole Space Opera vibe and right now it's looking like that's where it'll end up. Um, not much else to say except that I threw in some horns. Rawk.

yesterday i saw an angel when i looked into your eyes

2010-07-03T01:26:00.000-07:00

Angel by m3d1um

#065 - Angel - 1996

This is the first song I ever wrote on guitar and the lyrics pretty much prove that I wrote it when I was much younger. I decided to rerecord it because I felt like bringing it back around. Not sure if it will ever end up on an album but I figured it'd fit in okay with the 100 demos. My first band rocked this a lot and also it was pretty much played to death around 1997-1998 because I still sucked at guitar (well I still suck at guitar but I sucked a lot worse then). This is pretty rough around the edges but what the hell right? Hope you dig it. I'm actually almost caught up until I release like 4 songs tomorrow. Oh and this was totally written while dreaming about a girl from HS. I've totally been too deep since I was young. lol.

if you want to keep playing games please know it's always gonna turn out the same

2010-06-20T19:06:00.000-07:00

Sick of This by m3d1um

#064 - Sick of This - 2010

So the funny thing to me about this song is that after recording it, I realized parts of it have a very Wilco AM feel which is fine. Um let's see, I know that when I wrote it last week I was pissed off about something but I don't really remember what. It could have just been a blanket statement. Oh, the next version of this is going to be very different lyrically. The current lyrics aren't very complex and honestly I probably rushed it because I was stressed out and needed to release a jam.

broken moonbeams shout so loud

2010-06-20T19:02:00.000-07:00

Silhouettes by m3d1um

#063 - Silhouettes - 2008

If you've been a reader of my blog for a long time, you might recall that I wrote the first draft of this one night when I was writing a blog post. A lot has changed since then, but this song hasn't changed much. I'm actually not super fond of how this turned out and it might have something to do with the fact I recorded it at like 6 in the morning but the song is decent enough. The next version will probably have more going on. I always hear piano when I play this.

i need you to know that i don't care

2010-06-20T15:35:00.000-07:00

I Don't Care by m3d1um

#062 - I Don't Care - 2008

The second Blistering Hearts Jam to make an appearance and it also has the distinction of being the first song Clay and I wrote together. I've grown kind of attached to this one lately because even though I wrote it a few years ago it actually maps very accurately to some of the stuff I'm feeling in the present. Funny how music can morph like that. Means one thing when you wrote it and then something completely different when you revisit it. Pretty cool. I hope you like it.

tarantulas they frighten her even if they're just paper

2010-06-19T00:13:00.000-07:00

Theme by m3d1um

Origami by m3d1um

#060 - Theme (from Werewolf Monday) - 2010

#061 - Origami - 2010

See the thing is, I'm a smart ass. We went and saw Vampire Weekend at the Sasquatch fest and while I love that band, it's more fun to yell about them being hipsters and them being revered by hipsters.

Long story short, during their set I decided I'd write an album that sounds like Vampire Weekend (sort of) and name it "Werewolf Monday." I was totally wearing a polo and sweater when I wrote these and I used lots of vocabulary in Origami.

Hope you like them. This project is kind of on the back burner at the moment but will probably come around again sometime soon.

More later. I'm actually almost caught up now so that's good. :)

the loss of hope is running down your face

2010-06-16T23:38:00.000-07:00

Sleep It Off by m3d1um

#059 - Sleep It Off - 2008

This is the first of the Blistering Hearts songs I've finished and released. I wrote this with my man Clay in 2008 and had a really hard time with the lyrics. It really does capture my mindset from a few years ago at the point I wrote it which is kind of weird for me because I'm not that person now. Anyway, I love how the guitars turned out on this but it needs some soloing. We used to solo on this a lot when we played it in rehearsal. So yeah, I hope you like it.

you can go ahead and have these tears i can't cry anymore

2010-06-16T23:31:00.000-07:00

You Can Have These Tears by m3d1um

#058 - You Can Have These Tears - 2004

So this one I started writing in 2004 and I recorded a guitar part once a long time ago and forgot about the song for like 6 years. It's actually one of my favorites out of the recent jamz. It's part of the group of songs intended for "Emotional Masochism" and might stay in that group but is currently floating around a bit across all of the album configurations I'm working on (7?). It's kind of about that point where you're still hurt about something but you kind of say fuck it, I'm moving on. Hope you like it. Peace out.

his eyes are so dark he's been falling apart in the shadows

2010-06-15T00:05:00.000-07:00

The Shadows by m3d1um

#057 - The Shadows - 2008

I wrote this in 2008. When I quit drinking, one of the first things that I noticed was that my eyes seemed different. When I was drinking, they seemed much darker and after they seemed to regain color and were just different. It was strange and hard to explain but as of that moment, I often equate "shadows" behind the eyes with excessive drinking. This song is kind of a nod to that and the whole darkness that can come with all of that. It's part of an album primarily from 2008 that is not really part of the trilogy but a separate deal altogether. Hope you like. It's kinda sad.

falling down a flight of stairs in slow motion forgetting everything that he's learned

2010-06-14T21:59:00.000-07:00

Sunlight by m3d1um

#056 - Sunlight - 2010

This was one of those tunes that just kind of formed from an idea I had earlier in the year and I was tuned to open G minor and the little riff came about and the whole song just kind of formed itself. I always like when the songs just appear. I almost like it as much as an older song that comes to life after a lot of years of nothing. I really like the chorus of this one. It's probably one of my favorites especially out of the 2010 jams. Hope you dig it. Only 10 posts behind!

I'll hit the gun show in Wichita and buy a brand new 45

2010-06-14T03:16:00.000-07:00

Important thing to note: I decided today that there will be two different album configurations of "The Gun Show," which falls in the middle of a trilogy of albums that I've been constructing. It's like Empire Strikes Back. It ends on a dark note...

So the cool thing is that one configuration is intentionally poppy and more or less constructed for radio play/semi-world domination. What that means is there's a good mix of rocking jamz and slower jamz and lengths that are appropriate for radio play and everything is palatable and cleaned up nicely.

On the flip side of that, when you take the majority of those songs and you draw them out into nasty alt-country/noise rock jamz you get something that sounds like Old 97's meets Sonic Youth and to me that's far more exciting and intriguing.

I'll talk in more detail about this at a later date but I'm currently thinking about making both to see which one I like better and possibly then mass producing one and limiting the release of the other. We shall see.

That is all.

deflate my heart like a balloon

2010-06-14T03:12:00.000-07:00

Balloon by m3d1um

#055 - Balloon - 2010

Balloon is basically the last of the "Self Destructor, Part 1" songs in the first two-thirds of the demos I have recorded (although "You Can Have These Tears" is a contender). This mix is okay. The vocals aren't my favorite because they got wind-blown and when I went to boost them it completely left them in a weird state. I like this one because of the imagery. This is on the list for a video which is a whole post on its own and so you'll get that at a later date. I'm really far behind again so I need to keep these short.

how can i say i care when i can't stop drinking

2010-06-12T23:20:00.000-07:00

Sober by m3d1um

#054 - Sober - 2008

Back when I used to drink, I drank a lot. This song kind of coincided with the time when I realized that if I continued drinking then everything I loved would eventually disappear and also with that whole realization that when people are drunk everything that they say basically falls closer to the fiction side than the reality side. I don't know. I just know that this one means a lot to me and this recording of it is better than the last, but the next will be much more epic. Intended for The Gun Show.

please just take these pills

2010-06-12T23:13:00.000-07:00

Yellow Pills by m3d1um

#053 - Yellow Pills - 2010

This song is about anti-depressants and how I view my experience with that. It's actually sitting as the opener of Self Destructor, Part I right now. I'll get into all of that at a later date (track listings and the albums and what not). What's important is I wrote this around 6 AM on a Saturday morning which is not when I'm generally recording but I fell asleep very early the night before. I think it's going to work well as the opener and I really like the tune. It's got some tweaking it needs but overall I dig it and I hope you do as well.

staring at the skyline i can see our bridge in flames

2010-06-06T17:58:00.000-07:00

Burnt Bridges & Broken Hearts by m3d1um

#052 - Burnt Bridges & Broken Hearts - 2003

This is from 2003. It's one of the earliest of the Emotional Masochism tracks. It kind of hovered in obscurity for years as one of those tracks I was never really sure about. I'm still kind of like that with this recording of it. It feels like it's missing something. I don't know. Should be noted that my crew at the time fueled the formation of this one. We talked about it a lot more than we actually played it. :)

the sun's eclipsed beneath the shadow of a girl

2010-06-03T00:34:00.000-07:00

Shaded Rose by m3d1um

#051 - "Shaded Rose" - 2009

That title is in quotes and if you listen the song you might in fact wonder about the title. The truth is this song is kind of personal and sometimes I just want to avoid upsetting anyone or giving them the wrong idea. For the record, it's not about anyone from the present. It's only about me and and a lot of heartbreak and confusion that I suffered through for a really long time. It was also written on a Sunday in early summer of 2009 while I was listening to the Rolling Stones which kind of makes sense. This recording isn't my favorite. It's going to get a major overhaul in a few months because I think the song has potential but needs more work. Especially if I'm going to record it for a single release (which I'm tentatively planning). The sirens at the end were an accident but I left them because I felt like they actually fit. Hope you dig it.

i'm probably just trying to cleanse myself of these overwhelming fears and regrets

2010-06-03T00:22:00.000-07:00

The Reason by m3d1um

#050 - The Reason - 2005

Back in '05 I was working on approximately three albums: Welcome 2 the Nightmare, Emotional Masochism & The Reason. "The Reason" the album was supposed to be more bluesy/psychedelic. Kind of my "Around the World in a Day" in a sense. I had toyed with this song idea for a few years and one day while I was sitting in my bedroom staring out my window at the snow, I wrote that first line and the rest of the song just kind of came together. There's a really shitty version of this recorded and in the hands of some people who I gave it to at the time because I was stoked on it. The Reason project kind of lost steam when I started working on The Gun Show in 2006 but as of late, it's potentially due for a comeback and so I recorded this in the style I had originally intended. We'll see how it all plays out over the course of the 100 demos. Oh also, please note, this is the half-way point to my goal and it hit in May. We are on a good course. Hope you like it.

take me out tonight

2010-06-02T02:02:00.000-07:00

Smiths EP by m3d1um

#045 - #049 Smiths EP

So two weeks ago I was chillin' on Soundcloud making some conversation and listening to Smiths covers and I was prompted to record my own. It was supposed to only be one but instead I spent the weekend recording a full EP. Parts of it are sloppy and there are a few things I'd tweak but overall I'm satisfied with them especially Unloveable and Disco Dancer and probably Shoplifters too.

Just for the record, prior to doing this I'd wanted to cover the Smiths for a really long time and I've actually recorded There is a Light That Never Goes Out acoustic but this was the full deal.

More later! Almost caught up!

you love me so much it makes you sick

2010-06-01T02:02:00.000-07:00

The Fuck of It by m3d1um

#044 - The Fuck of It - 2009

So this actually was written because one day I told one of my friends that I'd "Go home and write a song just for the fuck of it and call it the fuck of it." It actually turned out to be one of my current favs because the lyrics, while meaningless to many, are actually quite meaningful and very significant to me. Pretty much every line in this song means something very specific which is kind of cool. The mix of this is not my fav and I actually want to overdub some feedback but it's a demo so you know...

I hope you like it!

you're never locking down my heart you're never gonna cuff my hands

2010-06-01T01:55:00.000-07:00

Handcuffs by m3d1um

#043 - Handcuffs - 2006

At one point this was one of my favorites but it has since fallen from grace to some degree. Maybe because it was about a specific relationship that in retrospect is not really something I regret. This recording of it is okay. It's still in contention for The Gun Show but in that lower tier (ie track 8 or 9).

Hope you dig it.

so baby please just buy me one last drink

2010-06-01T01:50:00.000-07:00

Happy by m3d1um

#042 - Happy - 2010

I wrote this on the fly one night (a few weeks ago?). I had the hook stuck in my head for a while in like February but I wrote this pretty fast and it actually just kind of came out of me. The entire third verse is a nod to another musician. Other thing about this is that it kind of sits on the border between actually being a happy song and not because while I was still very much dealing with some stuff when I wrote this, I was also watching people get into my music and so I feel like the song is somewhat showing both sides of the spectrum but I don't know. Hope you dig it :).

i don't know what i'm doing when it comes to love and baby i never have

2010-05-31T04:11:00.000-07:00

Electric by m3d1um

#041 - Electric - 2004

This one I know we wrote in 2004. It was a late night song. Made up on the spot and hasn't changed a ton since lyrically. This version is very electrified and kinda spacey and I'm not entirely sold on it yet. Definitely sounds better with headphones. There's a subtle baseball reference throughout due to the inspiration the night it was written and I think a fight was brewing but I'm not sure. Those days were volatile :). I revived this because it is actually one of my favorites when it comes to the late night stuff and because I wrote it kind of in response to someone I think of her when I hear it so it's definitely a good thing.

I'd give anything for you to say...

2010-05-31T04:04:00.000-07:00

'Til You Love Me Again by m3d1um

#040 - 'Til You Love Me Again - 2004

I'm feeling historically inaccurate as I write this and I blame beer. This song was written in 2003 or 2004 and for the most part it was written by Gooch. I just sang it and tweaked a few lyrics. I kind of dropped it to the background for years mainly because I had little to do with the original. It's now revived and I really kind of like this version. We were always unsure of this one but as time goes by, the vocals will pretty much make this a contender for The Gun Show. Quite a few good early recordings of this exist. I lost the master to the best one because of a mishap with my Sonar but it doesn't matter now that I got this version done. Hope you like it. I'm waaaaay behind on my blog.

another face down photograph another saturday

2010-05-24T19:13:00.000-07:00

Saturday by m3d1um

#039 - Saturday - 2002

I wrote the chords for this a long time ago. I wrote some words for it in 2005-2006 as part of a project that at the tie was going to be called The Reason. That album concept is no more because as time moves these things morph into new ideas. The title at the time was "Another Saturday" but I decided to shorten it because the 2010 version is a lot different. I like the "last dance" line. Probably going to be part of Self-Destructor as you can probably tell from the fact that parts of it sound like I held the mic up to a wind storm. That is intentional at this point. Hope the two people who read this like it. :)

she looks at her wrist to clock the passing time

2010-05-21T00:52:00.000-07:00

Diamond Smiles by m3d1um

#038 - Diamond Smiles - Boomtown Rats cover

When I moved to Seattle I got really into The Fine Art of Surfacing by the Boomtown Rats. Not sure why other than it's a really good album that is pretty highly underrated. So last Friday I decided to cover a song off of it after I was listening to it. So here it is. I will probably be doing an acoustic cover about once a week or so because I sometimes need a break from my own songs but still want to play. That is all. Oh and I picked this song because it's just so dark. I don't understand why it hasn't been covered a million times.

the situation never seems to change

2010-05-18T22:08:00.000-07:00

So Please by m3d1um

#037 - So Please - 2003

I wrote So Please a really long time ago. I actually was sick in bed the day I wrote it. For a while it was one of only a handful of songs that I had floating out there so there are a lot of recordings of it of various quality in my vast library of sessions. However, this is the first recording with a full treatment. As time goes on and I stockpile tracks, an interesting observation on this one is that it still remains one of those songs where I'll feel the emotions that spawned its creation from playing it. As I've mentioned before, that's kind of a rare occurrence because the feelings usually just disappear. Of course, that could be because situations tend to repeat themselves. But anyway, hope you dig. I'm still about 5 posts behind...

maybe i'm too big for this town

2010-05-17T00:24:00.000-07:00

Maybe by m3d1um

#036 - Maybe - 2004

A while back when I still lived in KC, I created music with one of my best friends on the planet. We would write after hitting the bar and we ended up with hours of music that is vaulted on my old computer and still needs to be sorted through and mixed down (someday it'll happen). At one point he moved away and lived in the middle of nowhere, KS. This is something that he brought to me and I added some lyrics and tweaked some things. This is one of several true "Busdriver" songs and is/was intended for The Gun Show album that was conceptualized in 2006. I'm thinking track 3 specifically :)

Much love. Way behind on posts.

i can finally say i'm alright

2010-05-09T21:04:00.000-07:00

You Are My Light by m3d1um

This is kind of really personal and I finished it back in November or December after I wrote it because of personal stuff. I decided to release it today because I kind of think it's important for me to release all of it and because truthfully, I need to make sure I don't hold things in. This is about my days of partying and how I was collapsing and it's kind of like the sequel of "Take Me Home" because that was written in the early stages of my sobriety when everything was still hurting and this is more of a retrospective look at that time and kind of a thought of how I got through it all. Slightly Maladroit-ish. Laters.

now i feel no pain

2010-05-09T21:00:00.000-07:00

Cough Syrup by m3d1um

So the interesting things about this one are: It came about because I was thinking about a book I read about Kurt Cobain where it mentioned he drank cough syrup all the time and secondly I think it kind of ended up sounding a little Pixies. Not by fault, just kind of how it went but I don't know. I hate comparing my music to other music. I like this hook. It's one of my favs. Next!

the dim lights flicker in the old run down saloon.

2010-05-08T03:04:00.000-07:00

Train Wreck by m3d1um

#033 - Train Wreck - 2006

It's the 8th which means another month since I said goodbye to booze. This was written at a low point in the days of drinking although earlier than the other stuff. This version is very alt-country. I might throw out a separate vocal for this one later to see if it belongs on "self destructor". We shall see.

Late. Out.