sometimes to heal you just gotta sing...

Just in case you're not hip to my "other" blog. Here is what I did in the last 3+ hours. I wrote this then I recorded it in rough demo state. It's about the last few months and some other stuff. It's more like a letter but whatever. I hope you dig it. I kind of do. I might post the lyrics later because I like those too but I might not.

#016 - Hey, Angel... - 2010

The album is going to be called Self-Destructor and it's going to be split into two 10" EPs.

Peace out. Game on. Goodnight. I heart you.

i got something to say i killed your baby today

A month ago I killed this blog because I thought it was the right thing to do. Before that, I quit writing music because I thought it was where I was at in my life. I hurt myself with both of those decisions. I think that I need this blog to heal and even more than that, I think I need the music to feel whole. So, as things stand I now am bringing both of them back at least until I figure some things out. Please stand by for more interesting material. I promise it's going to be okay. That is, the past is no longer important only the future and only spaceships and unicorns and mythological creatures of unicorn-esque quality. Peace out until I blog later tonight after I record Danzig &/or Misfits covers.

the sun sets over paradise

#015 - Without a Parachute - 2003

"Parachute" was written in 2003 with Travis during a late night jam. Originally recorded in one take, the lyrics are pretty much the same as the night I free-styled them. For a long time, I couldn't decide what this song should be or where it should go. It was a part of "The Gun Show" for a while and spent some time as part of "Emotional Masochism" and it's still kind of floating around. It's totally a love song although I'm not really sure who I was thinking about when I wrote it even though 2003 would indicate one of two people really but I would like to think I wrote it for neither of them because I like the song too much to chain it to those memories. One other thing, in case you missed it...it's not about suicide and it's also not about unprotected sex (although I told someone once that it was just to get a reaction) it's totally about limitless love and I think I can happily say that with this arrangement it kind of moved up on my own list maybe because every line in this song somehow(even though it's 6+ years old) means something significant to me or maybe because it reminds me of one of my favorite songs at least in the way it feels and the potential I see for what it could be. I don't know, I'm just rambling now so I'm going to post the lyrics...

"Without a Parachute"

The sun sets over paradise

I’ll let you be my only vice

But I don’t know where I’ll sleep tonight

The dogs are barking on the avenue

The clouds are spelling I love you

Graffiti from a jet plane passing by

I’m leaving on a westbound rail

Conscience on my tail

Now I can’t remember the first time I ran away

I’d jump without a parachute

Your dominoes are falling down

The pieces are not jumping into place

The way that I positioned them and now

I’m tripping all over me

When I should have been lying down next to you

I’d jump without a parachute

The writing on the wall

I think I see your name but it’s too blurred

I can’t make it out in the dark

I’m thinking that it says you were close to me

And we will always be one at heart

But I’m really having trouble digesting your words tonight

I’d jump without a parachute

The midnight breathing’s heavy

Your residue is on my skin

Not sure if time just ended

Or where life begins

How am I supposed to know

Where your world is moving every minute

When I was never in it

To begin with

I’d jump without a parachute

To prove I’m so in love with you

the moon is spinning and the sky is bleeding stars

#014 - I'm So Frightened - 2009

"I'm So Frightened" was written as part of the previously mentioned space opera and is part of a suite of 3 songs that when combined represent the main character on an acid trip. This piece in particular is the part where it starts to turn bad (hence the noise and the lyrics). It's a very noisy song and more of an experiment than the stuff I have posted previously. There are actually two sets of lyrics to this song, one male the other female with them trading verses (one about the drugs and one about growing old). It ties into the story that I can't really disclose but it the original demo I did with pitch shifted female vocals didn't sound right and so I stripped it back to a single character singing. Anyway, lyrics below. Be forewarned this song has a lot of dissonance. Lyrics...

"I'm So Frightened"

Uh oh, it looks like this time I’ve gone too far

The moon is spinning and the sky is bleeding stars

The wind is burning and my body is getting cold

I’m so frightened cuz these drugs are taking hold

Oh no, this void is too much for me to bare

I’m slowly floating to the middle of nowhere

My mind is tripping to the edge of outer space

I’m so frightened as the sunbeams form your face

Tell me what

Should I do

To stop the sun

From glowing blue

the night is late he's full of hate and loaded up on booze

#013 - Blender - 2007

Blender was a song I wrote in 2007 right after I moved to Seattle. It's part of "The Gun Show" and in so many words, the lyrics pretty much describe what it feels like to go on a hardcore whiskey binge (not that I would know anything about that, heh). I recorded an acoustic version in 2008 and talked about it on this blog back then but this version is waaaaaay better and is closer to how I originally envisioned it when I was writing it. Also, since 2008, I've added a verse and a guitar solo. Words are below. Peace out.

"Blender"

The complicated nightmare it assaults him endlessly

Can’t tell up from down just knows he needs her constantly

And even though he’s fading out he loves her desperately

But he’s too weak to follow through, fulfill that destiny

His heart stuck in a blender

Another week long bender

And now he don’t remember what he said

He wasn’t trying to offend her

Locked inside his drunk surrender

And now he kind of wishes he was dead

Yeah now he kind of wishes he was dead

The words scrawled on that napkin are far too blurred to read

But every other scribble just expresses one more need

He probably should have left before the wounds began to bleed

He probably should have dropped it but he won’t accept defeat

His heart stuck in a blender

Another week long bender

And now he don’t remember what he said

He wasn’t trying to offend her

Locked inside his drunk surrender

And now he kind of wishes he was dead

Yeah now he kind of wishes he was dead

The record sings a perfect song you’ll never understand

It says he thought she loved him and then she turned and ran

And now his heart’s as empty as the bottle in his hand

The same old tired love song from the same old broken man

His heart stuck in a blender

Another week long bender

And now he don’t remember what he said

He wasn’t trying to offend her

Locked inside his drunk surrender

And now he kind of wishes he was dead

Yeah now he kind of wishes he was dead

The night is late he’s full of hate and loaded up on booze

Alarms are ringing loud but his brain is hitting snooze

His mind is wrecked so by design he’s gonna get confused

It’s hard to give a fuck when there’s nothing left to lose

His heart stuck in a blender

Another week long bender

And now he don’t remember what he said

He wasn’t trying to offend her

Locked inside his drunk surrender

And now he kind of wishes he was dead

Yeah now he kind of wishes he was dead