tonight i feel so cold and empty

#010 - How Many Times? - 2004

How Many Times? falls in the group of songs that were basically free-styled during a late night drunken jam with my good friend Travis during the "Busdriver" days (before the rapper stole our name). We recorded it once and I transposed the lyrics from that old sloppy recording and added some sloppy harmonica. This is considered somewhere between "The Gun Show" and "Emotional Masochism" but may end up on a yet-to-be-named acoustic record. The length is due to the way it was written. We used to just keep playing and it ended up with some good, but longer than 3 and a half minutes type songs. Also, note that there's not much of a chorus.

"How Many Times?"

The color in your eyes has left me blinded

Now I’m wondering why

I’ve tried so many times to fall in love

But I can’t find it

And it makes me want to cry

I’m hurting now

What’s up with you?

I used to think that life was good

Baby now we’re through

And I’m just dying

Dying alone

Now after everything we’ve been through

And all those separate times or hearts have strayed

Feels just like an endless dress rehearsal

Of some old desperate tragic play

Now I don’t know what I’m doing

And I don’t know what I need

How many times will you destroy me?

Before I concede to this defeat?

Tonight I feel so cold and empty

I’m feeling much more lost than found

My mind is shattered it’s beyond me

And I can’t pick my heart up off the ground

So darling won’t you please tell me

What do I need to do to set me free?

How many times will I let you break me?

How long will I let this carry on?

How many times will I spin the same record?

How many times will I write the same song?

So now I guess that life is perfect

Despite the fact you’re always on my mind

If I could erase you from this process

It’d be a better way to spend my time

How many times will you hurt me?

How many times will you wake me in the night?

How many times are you going to scar me?

How many times will I miss the light?

And I guess now that’s everything

Every little thing that’s on my mind

One last message left for you to ponder

Without you here how can I say I’m fine