i alone survive tonight

Finished re-recording "Anymore" and started "Superficial" & "Sadness" for "Revolving Doors". Album is turning out strange yet all of the songs fit in this weird sort of way. 14 more to go in the pool and then it's looking like I'll release my favorite 10-12 all at once. More later.

throw up the white flag time to surrender

This weekend was pretty productive. I recorded 4 tracks: "Man on the Corner" and "Lampshade" as part of the "Revolving Doors" project and then "White Flag" as a contender for "Wristbreaker" and then a very stripped down version of "Bethany" which is in contention for the acoustic project I mentioned in the last post. The next time I release something will probably be in a week or two. I think 1/10 will be released for the time being but I haven't settled on that number yet. It really depends on what I create and where it fits in to what I'm currently working on.

walking along the street chaos is all around

Wow...this is the first time I've posted in a long time without a demo included in the post. Just a quick update on what's been going on this week. After finishing up the 100, I decided to take a look at the large number of songs I wrote in 1995-1996. Prior to learning how to play guitar I wrote about 10 albums worth of lyrics. Granted they were pretty much the kind of lyrics any 17 year old might write which means they are not the best lyrics ever. Either way, I went through these and I've started working on a new collection of songs that I'm tentatively calling "Revolving Doors" after the title of a poem I wrote around the same time. I picked that title mostly at random by opening my very old lyrics book to a random page and picking one. I think I've narrowed down the number of songs I'm looking at to 20. Included in that group are most of the songs from my first band's early garage demo and then probably 12 - 14 more tracks that I never finished at the time but all held some sort of significance to me back in the day. I've already recored "Angel" as part of the 100 and in addition I recorded 2 more tracks, "I Love You" and "Hang On", this week. Both of those were on the old demo although these versions are fairly different from the original arrangements. Other tracks in the queue are: "Man on the Corner", "Freejizm", "Sadness", "Superficial", "Stagnation", "Lampshade" and several others. More to come on that as I might record all 20 but probably will only release the 10-12 I like the best. Also brewing is an acoustic album of new songs similar in feel to "Stupid Times." Completely stripped down except for voice and guitar. Just been feeling that vibe lately so going to follow the impulse. Okay it's late. I'm out.

i shouldn't be the one who's forced to pay the cover charge for your mistakes

Cover Charge by m3d1um

#113 - Cover Charge - 2004

So here's the story of Cover Charge. I have a book of lyrics (one of many) where I began numbering song lyrics I wrote in early 2004. In that book, Cover Charge is #002. Shortly after writing those lyrics, we wrote the song and recorded it on a cold evening probably after too much beer and a bad Bon Jovi cover. The only thing that has really changed since that first version is that the guitars have gotten louder and it's gotten faster. When I was playing with the people I used to play with, we would end every rehearsal with Cover Charge and it would usually turn into a 15 minute long freak-out full of distortion and feedback. I love that shit and so I decided when I started this 100 demos project that I would end it with Cover Charge because it just needs to happen like that and now I have. Let me just say, I'm pretty stoked that I released 100 original songs this year (in less than a year) and I'm even more excited about what's next because it's all about refining what I have and possibly adding more but I will start vaulting the majority of stuff I write for the time being. The reasoning behind that is that I want to leave some surprises for the future.

Lastly, I want to take a minute to thank the people who have kept me going and who have followed me through the year, etc. Much appreciation to anyone who has listened to a song or two. Thank you it has meant a lot.

i'm here to save the universe and put this creature in the ground

Calm Down by m3d1um

#112 - Calm Down - 2010

So this started out as a "Self-Destructor, Part 1" song and then as I was recording it it did a 180 and I decided it made more sense as part of the space opera and so I wrote it to represent the battle between the main character and the creature that is destroying the universe and I could talk more about it but I won't but it'll make more sense once the whole thing is done. The vocoded vocals on the chorus represent the people watching this struggle. This one is central to the plot and between this and Princess of the Traffic Lights has gotten me reenergized about the whole project. I've talked to some other musicians about participating in it as well and so this project is going to be one of my best when we get there. I think it might be a while before it's truly done, but the wait will be worth it. Hope you like.

these monday mornings they might be proof that nothing ever really dies

Beautiful Stars by m3d1um

#111 - Beautiful Stars - 2008

I wrote this at the end of 2008 as I was going through a lot of life changing stuff. A very weird & painful but also very good time and what I think is significant about this song is that the whole point is that our world is full of turmoil and then sometimes you just look up into the sky and see some stars and none of it matters. This is also a nod to the fact that I live downtown and it's a far cry from the open skies I experienced much of my life and I think stars are one of the things I miss the most because you just don't see them in the city. I like how it turned out. I hope you like it.

he used to dream of diamonds

Ruby Broke His Heart by m3d1um

#110 - Ruby Broke His Heart - 2003

This song is pretty storied but mostly in a personal way so I'll tell some of it. It was written in 2003 during the Busdriver/Sunday Morning Relapse days with my cohort Gooch. We actually only wrote the hook at that time but it's a song that for whatever reason we talked about writing for years and it kept coming up and multiple gem references were made. This version is significant in that I recorded it this week for Gooch's birthday and in that I intentionally left it open for enhancements later. The verses are pretty bare right now and I imagine in a future version there will be a bridge and also more guitars added. That's what I'm hearing anyway, but for now it's this. I love that hook and I like the quiet-loud dynamic on this one. I hope you like it. Rough but alive.

i'm scared to lace my tennis shoes

Stomach Flu by m3d1um

#109 - Stomach Flu - 2004

Speaking of messy Wristbreaker tracks...this is the messiest of them to date but that's for two reasons...I incorrectly put vocals on it before I put in the bass line and the guitar part is a bit disjointed. Also, it needs a tighter mix because right now there's so much going on all the time it's hard to keep up. On a positive note, I really like the hook and the guitar solo wails. Love the fuzz + synth combo. Last note on this one is that I went through all of my notebooks this weekend and this one was hidden in the trenches of the massive writing year that was 2004 and so it's completely chance that it made it out into the world. Hope you like it. It'll be cleaned up soon but for now enjoy the awesome mess.

he's the saddest boy oh he's the saddest boy

The Saddest Boy by m3d1um

#108 - The Saddest Boy - 2010

If The Coolest Girl (#007) had a cousin or a lost brother it would be this. As I was remixing that song in May, I was like...there should be a sequel that is completely different but sort of the same. There's almost this weird masculine - feminine thing going on with how the songs turned out. One is just out of control and aggressive non-stop and slightly grating while the other starts off gentle and bursts into aggressive guitars when you don't expect it. I'll stop with that analogy now, but it works for me and I see some connection. Sloppy guitar driven Wristbreaker-ness is what this is. Pretty rough but that whole album is pretty rough. I'm either one or two tracks away from finishing it too which is pretty awesome. I could make it longer but it's mostly going to be thirty to thirty-five minutes because it shouldn't be long. It's a mess and I love it and it thrashes better than I thought it would. Not exactly super commercial but again, I never intended it to be commercial at all. I'm just rambling now, I hope you like this. I love the burst into the chorus and my solo on this one. Enjoy and peace out!

girl are you the princess of these traffic lights

Princess of the Traffic Lights by m3d1um

#107 - Princess of the Traffic Lights - 2004

As I have probably mentioned previously, in 2001, I started working on a space opera. I've released a few tracks from that over the last 10 months. Princess of the Traffic Lights initially didn't come to me as part of that. It's now part of that as you'll notice the lyrics tend to reference a post-apocalyptic war torn times where the humans are being wiped out at an entirely rapid pace. All I can tell you right now is that it's from Act II. The main character is searching for this prophet in the streets of an alien planet as he believes she's the key to saving the human race and while he searches the people around him are being wiped out.

Aside from that, the song was actually written about someone who left and came back and left and came back every few months. She'd disappear and be gone and then a few months later be back. Always struggling and had it pretty rough and this song was very much conceived around her and that life. I hope you like it. It's definitely geared to the opera in its current state but I'm pretty happy with it. Hope you dig.

this dark hallucination it showers over me like rain

Everything's Fucked by m3d1um

#106 - Everything's Fucked - 2008

This was co-written by my man Clay when we were playing together in 2008. We used to play it regularly but the lyrics weren't ever finished. In 2008 I had incredibly bad writer's block and so many of the songs from that year were fragments that I've since been able to complete. I'm really excited how this one turned out as it's just a strange song when I listen to it and I dig that a lot. Parts of it are almost gospel-ish while it's bluesy and chaotic at the same time. Going on the same record as "Waiting for the Sunrise" and might actually end up as the b-side if I do this singles thing I've been debating. More on that later but I've got 7 songs left and I foresee the demos project probably coming to a conclusion this week. After it's done I'll start focusing on the individual songs to get some things cleaned up and structured for a real recording sessions/release. Enjoy.

the good and the bad have become so elastic

Tear Here by m3d1um

#105 - Tear Here - 2003

I remember writing this back in 2003. It came about because I saw "tear here" on a tag and I was like...hmmm good heart song. So I'm happy with how this turned out. I used the "Self-Destructor" method for this one and the long verses and soft chorus are doing it for me. Not sure where this will land as "Self-Destructor, Part I" is looking pretty full. I hope you like it. Only 8 more songs until I take a break from releasing stuff. Good things will be coming though, just not releasing songs at the pace I have been. I'm actually a bit worn out from releasing so much even though I love it.

happiness is oh so oh so hard to find

Stupid Times by m3d1um

#104 - Stupid Times - 2010

Based on the last few weeks, I decided today that I needed to write something that reflects my battle with this stupid darkness. I found this song tucked away in one of my notebooks when I was going through them today and decided I should rock out an acoustic track. I'm happy with it. It's where I want things to go. I really am tired of darkness all the time and I am now on a mission to figure out how to shift that so that I only see the light. I know I can get there. I've been there before. Only a matter of time. Hope you like this little experiment.

it's been a pretty fucked up year

A Song You'll Never Hear by m3d1um

#103 - A Song You'll Never Hear - 2010

So um...it's been a pretty fucked up year? Until I started releasing lots and lots of songs, I had a lot of difficulty separating my friends from the music. Meaning, I thought getting validation from them for the music actually mattered. What I've learned is that if the music is created with all of your heart, people will come towards the music and support you and keeping the people you care about at least partially isolated from the art is a very good idea. It's strange when you create so much. Your songs become like your children and you want everyone to love them as much as you do even though it's not really possible. This one is about that and it's also pretty harsh in places and I will probably change quite a few of the lyrics on the next rev because it is actually so biting that I have some problems listening to it. I don't know yet. I hope you get it and like it and all that. It's going on The Gun Show and might end the album. We'll see.

love it doesn't exist...there's no destiny

Destiny Waltz by m3d1um

#102 - Destiny Waltz - 2006

Right after I moved to Seattle I wrote a few songs and then things got kind of dark for a while. During most of 2007, nothing was created. This was one of those final few songs and I didn't write much of it back then but I kept this stripped down and I really like how it turned out. Pretty dark which feeds into my mindset at the time I wrote it and actually the last few weeks. The weather in Seattle has the effect of knocking the chemicals in my brain completely out of whack come October. It's not a pleasant thing but it's a lot easier to handle when you realize that's what's going on. Well, anyway, enough over-sharing. I hope you like the gloomy track in front of you. Honestly, the more I hear this one the more I like it.

i'm about to come unglued

Off Aurora by m3d1um

#101 - Off Aurora - 2009

This is about my rehearsal space. I came up with this one day while practicing up there and the real deal behind it is my rehearsal space is behind Rick's Auto and just in a strange part of town. The other aspect of this and probably some of the inspiration is that I heard once that Kurt Cobain used to shoot up in the hotels "off aurora." Not happy places. I'm sure many of them rent by the hour. Anyway, I hope you like it. Definitely belongs with the other "Boundaries" tracks.

you got a body so hot you melt my crayons

Nosebleed by m3d1um

#100 - Nosebleed - 2009

Nosebleed was a song of myth from the Blistering Hearts days. I joked about it all the time except it wasn't truly mythological since it's sitting here before you. This is kind of "El Scorcho" kind of "Midnite Vultures" IMO but for the most part I dig the song. Got some tweaks to do but I do love the groove and like my a lot of my guitar on it. Supposed to be slightly crazy and I think I accomplished that. I hope you like it.

PS - What's coming next is going to be good...13 more songs and then a few new projects that I'm excited about. More coming soon.

our hearts turn into love once we are gone

I'm Pretty Sure We're Dying by m3d1um

#099 - I'm Pretty Sure We're Dying - 2008

I wrote this in 2008 and it stems from the fact that I'm a bit of a hypochondriac although I've never really shared that until this post. I'm always worried that I'm really sick if I see any kind of small sign or anything like that. Then, I usually make it worse by looking up symptoms online. What I like about this is that it's got that sadness but then also has the chorus specifying that once we're gone our memories carry on thru our love. Okay that sounded kind of cheesy once I reread it, but I like some of the lyrics in this one and I like my synth-y guitar solo. Oh and I used some feedback on this from a BH rehearsal in 2008 or 2009. I hope you like.

now they want to slaughter their golden calf

Hate Them All by m3d1um

#098 - Hate Them All - 2010

The weekend I recorded this and "Double Tall" must have been pretty dark in retrospect. This one is for every time you've ever wanted to just tell someone to fuck off and walk away. Not much more to say other than that. We've all been there and we've all felt attacked. I have a list of things this could be about but I don't need to get into it. Going to be on "Wristbreaker." Really like my guitar on this one. Hope you dig.

lately i've been living broken hearted

Double Tall by m3d1um

#097 - Double Tall - 2009

So this one...kind of dark but sums up how I want "The Gun Show" to sound. Raw energy, somewhat angry singing with screaming on top of it and ferocious guitars. It's like an Old 97's kind of sound but more grit. As far as the concept on this, when I quit drinking in 2008 there would be various times during that first year when I would get incredibly moody and dark. This song is about the perception that many people have that if someone quits something then they start the world is going to end. It's just interesting to me. Not sure why but I wrote this about that feeling and I think I captured it even though it's pretty intense. I hope you like it. It's definitely an in the right mood kind of song. Oh and funny note..."finish what I started" line actually refers to the album lol.

mogwais they multiply but only when you get em wet

Her by m3d1um

#096 - Her - 2004

So I wrote this hook in 2004 and knew how I wanted it to sound but never got to laying it down. It's about probably like 4 women all pieced together and more about my issues with insecurity (not to get too personal). The second verse of this one is one of my favorite verses I've ever written mainly because I bashed vampires, made a gremlins reference and then a Prince reference all in a few lines. I like how this one turned out oh and I like the bridge w/harmonica. Hope you enjoy.

when it comes to you it's just too hard to heal

Heal by m3d1um

#095 - Heal - 2010

This song is very special to me. It was inspired by someone who has been really good to me this year when I definitely needed it. The story is that the week I broke down after two months of not making music and wrote "Hey, Angel..." she listened to it, made some very positive comments and then said I need to release an album called "Heal" that relates back to a lot of what I've gone through the last few years. Well, I held that idea in my mind for a long time and knew that when I wrote a song called "Heal" it was going to be something important. One night a few weeks ago it just kind of came to me and I recorded it and I've gotta say, I love this one. Partially based on the story above and partially based on how good it felt to finally see Pavement reunite and play a show. I left the lyrics to this somewhat obscure as a nod to SM. Hope you like it.

hey girl are you listening cuz I know you've been missing it

Humble by m3d1um

#094 - Humble - 2002

Humble was written around 2002 right around the same time I wrote The Coolest Girl. It took me forever to actually record it mainly because it was one of those songs that I really liked but wasn't sure what it should be. This recording just kind of made itself and I'm very glad I put the moog part into this. For the record, that's a nod to Weezer (go listen to Buddy Holly) because at the time I wrote this, Weezer was at the top of the list of bands that inspired me. This is actually one of my favorites right now and I hope you enjoy.